


i'm missing half of me when we're apart

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Boys In Love, Crying, M/M, Protective Louis, Sad Harry, Wine, mummy cuddles, our boys miss each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-01-10 07:30:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12294270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Louis can just picture what he looks like right now. Curled up on the big bed in their LA house, wrapped up in one of Louis' sweatshirts, crying his heart out, face red and blotchy, eyes sore, fingers twisted in the blankets as his chest tightens up.





	1. Chapter 1

Louis gets the call when he's slumped on the sofa next to his mum, his head tucked into the curve of her shoulder, a half empty glass of wine balanced on his knee as she strokes his hair with one hand, flicking through TV channels with the other. Louis groans and presses his eyes shut when his phone starts vibrating on the coffee table, bouncing around a little, expecting it to be someone from management, demanding that he come out of hiding and finally show the fans that he isn't dead.

He only really looks at it when Jay pats the back of his neck, trying to get him sitting up by nudging him with her shoulder. “Babe, you better get that.” She says, but he just shuts his eyes again, grumbling a little and trying to hide his face in her shirt, wanting her to coddle him like she did when he was little and was scared of facing his fears. “Babe, it's Harry.”

He's up.

He nearly spills his wine as he scrambles off the sofa, hand stretching out to grab his phone before the call can go to voicemail. He hasn't heard from Harry in a few days. He's been off in LA, attending his fancy, celebrity parties, getting photographed with as many semi-famous girls as their management team can find, and looking breathtakingly gorgeous as he does it.

At least Louis thinks so, from the many photos he's been searching for on Twitter.

When he finally, presses accept, he's sat on the carpet, knees bent under him in a way that's definitely going to give him cramp, but it's fine because he finally gets to speak to his boy again. “Harry?” He asks into the phone, voice louder and brighter than it has been in a couple of days.

“Harry?” He repeats, a little less loud and less bright, when Harry doesn't respond. Louis knows he's there, can hear his breathing (a little ragged for Louis' liking), but he's not saying anything. “Harry, baby, talk to me?”

“ _Lou_ ,” Harry finally gets out, and Louis' heart shatters in his chest. Harry sounds positively broken, Louis' name coming out as a sob as Harry tries to catch his breath around the word. Harry lets out a little whine moments later and Louis can just picture what he looks like right now. Curled up on the big bed in their LA house, wrapped up in one of Louis' sweatshirts, crying his heart out, face red and blotchy, eyes sore, fingers twisted in the blankets as his chest tightens up.

Louis' on his feet in an instant, stepping about disoriented, free hand curling up into a fist and then uncurling again, suddenly panicking, not knowing what to do. “Baby, talk to me. What's happened? If anyone's done something, said something, just say and I'll- I'll- I-” As Harry cuts him off, his mum's stood behind him, gently squeezing at his shoulders, trying to calm him down without taking his focus from Harry.

“I miss you,” Harry replies, still obviously short of breath, his voice more high-pitched than his usual slow drawl. Louis feels tears spring into his own eyes at how utterly distraught Harry sounds. They haven't seen each other for nearly two weeks, they're nearly at their breaking point, but Harry is due to fly home in a couple of days.

“Oh, Harry,” Louis says, letting out a shaky breath as Jay pulls him back down to sit on the edge of the sofa, phone pressed against his ear. “I know you do, baby, I miss you too. You'll be home in a few days, yeah? You'll be back with me, in just a few days.” Louis tries to calm him down, but he can hear Harry's breathing speeding up again.

“No.” Is Harry's reply, the small word holding years of built-up frustration and exhaustion from not getting to love the boy he loves in public. Louis feels it too. “I want you now. I'm sick of all these parties and women and cameras following me everywhere. It's too much, Lou, I can't take it. I just want to be with _you_ , please don't make me stay, Lou, _please_ , Louis, _please_ -ple please.”

Louis can't listen to this. He can't listen to his boy beg for him, voice cracking on every other word, desperate to feel safe and at home. Harry's still so young, and he's already had to deal with so much bullshit and hatred from everyone who claims to have his best interests at heart. And it's not fair.

Louis tries to stay calm, shushing Harry gently when he begins to really hyperventilate. “It's alright baby, I'm gonna sort it. I'm gonna get you home to me, alright? You hear me? But I need you to calm down, and take some deep breaths for me, yeah?” And Harry tries, he really tries. Louis can hear how much he's trying to suck in gulps of air without choking on them, and after a few minutes of gentle coaching, it finally works.

Harry just sounds sad and sleepy when he speaks up again, and Louis wishes he was by his side right now, combing his fingers through his hair, pressing kisses to his face. “Please get me home?” Is all he asks, and Louis can tell that he's about to drift off.

“I will, my love. Get some sleep, I'll sort everything out. I love you.” Harry barely mumbles a reply before he snuffles gently, and Louis knows that he's asleep. Louis pulls the phone from his ear, jams his finger on the red button and collapses into his mum's arms. She rocks him gently and holds him tight until he runs out of tears.

He sits up and sniffles, rubbing at his wet cheeks with a shaking hand. “I need to call Alberto.” Jay smiles at him sadly, fixes his hair, and then excuses herself to make them some tea whilst Louis does so. Alberto picks up on the second ring, and Louis manages to keep the tears at bay as he demands that a flight is booked for first thing tomorrow morning and that his boy is sent back to England.

It takes a while, but after some strong words about paychecks and mental health, Alberto reluctantly agrees. Louis ends the call with a grimace, he hates yelling at the few good people who work with them, but he will not let anyone get in his way on this one. It's too important. After a deep breath, he sends a text to Harry for him to wake up to.

**Louis: Good morning, Harry! Alberto's booked a flight for you today, and when you get back he'll drive you over to mum's. I can't wait to see you, I love you, and I'll see you very, very soon x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry chuckles gently into the fabric of Louis' T-shirt – one of his own, that Louis must have stolen, he notes. “I love you,” Harry whispers, lips dragging against Louis' warm skin, making him shiver. Louis returns the sentiment before he finally pulls his head up to look Harry in the eye. His face is red and blotchy, but he's still beautiful.

As soon as Harry wakes up, he feels like shit. The skin on his face is sore, there's a nasty crick in his neck and the doorbell is ringing insistently in his ear. He takes a few minutes to feel sorry for himself before literally rolling out of bed, somehow landing on his feet, and stumbling downstairs. He reaches the foyer with bleary eyes, which he rubs at absentmindedly as he opens the door to see Alberto stood on his doorstep, looking far from pleased.

Harry doesn't feel quite awake enough to voice any of the questions that come barrelling into his brain, so he just turns around and lazily trails towards the kitchen. He assumes that Alberto is following behind him as he idly flicks the kettle and collapses onto one of the bar stools.

Alberto steps into the room and leans back against the counter, fixing Harry with an unamused stare as he crosses his arms. Harry just lets his eyes fall closed as he carelessly collects his hair into a pitiful bun on the back of his head with sleepy, fumbling hands, not in the mood for an update on his next paparazzi stunt.

“Have you packed?” Alberto asks, his steely exterior softening slightly as Harry tilts his head to the side, blinking up at him in tired confusion. It seems like they're both less than thrilled to be here at – Harry's eyes flick up to the clock on the wall – half past six in the morning. Alberto takes his silence as a no and rolls his eyes in annoyance, but Harry knows that the man couldn't ever be really angry with him. “You've got a flight to catch in an hour.”

Harry's gasp is almost comical. “I can go home?” He asks, although even he can barely tell what he'd said through the croak in his voice. He clears his throat and tries again.

“It was a pain to organise but your boyfriend was quite insistent,” Alberto says, and Harry can see the fondness behind his stern glare. It is no secret that Alberto adores Louis. Harry breaks out into a grin, nearly tripping over his own feet as he jumps up and hurries backwards in the direction of the stairs.

“Make yourself a coffee, I'll be ready in fifteen minutes,” Harry calls behind him as he rushes to the bedroom, pulling his two big duffel bags out of the wardrobe and onto the bed. He starts shoving all of his essential stuff into them, not bothering to worry about the inevitable creases in his clothes, too excited to get back to Louis.

Harry only catches sight of his reflection in the mirror once he's zipped up the second bag and let out a sigh, suddenly remembering how exhausted he is. And he looks like shit. His eyes are bright red, his hair desperately needs washing, and the bags under his eyes make him look like he hasn't slept in weeks. With a deep breath, he decides that he doesn't care. He's going to see his boy in a matter of hours, and that's all that matters.

He grabs a pair of sunglasses and shoves a headband on, so that maybe it looks like his hair's greasy because he'd just come from the gym, and goes back downstairs. Alberto hasn't made himself a coffee, but he's made Harry one in his flask, and Harry reminds Alberto just how much he loves him. The security guard just rolls his eyes, hands Harry the mug and takes his bags out to the car for him.

Harry takes a deep breath before following him, so glad, for once, that Louis had pestered their management to let them see each other. Harry usually complained when Louis made a fuss, especially when it was in his defence because he knows just how easy it would be for everything to be taken from them. This time, however, he couldn't feel any more grateful for Louis' refusal to comply with their management's rules and regulations. He's so ready to be back in England, and back in his boy's arms.

Harry thankfully manages to sleep for most of the flight, hoping to sleep off the groggy feeling he can't seem to shake, but he doesn't wake up feeling any more refreshed. If anything, he's more restless. It's nearly midday when they land at Birmingham Airport, and another hour and a half drive until they're in Doncaster, a familiar street and rows of identical houses welcoming him home.

He nearly tears up when his eyes land on the Tomlinsons' house, and a few definitely spill onto his cheeks when they park on the curb right outside of it. Harry scrambles out of the car, grabs his bags from the boot, thanks Alberto and then practically sprints up the path towards the front door.

Harry only just has enough time to drop his bags in the hallway before Louis is rounding the corner from the living room and crashing into his arms. Harry's wrapped up by him in an instant, surrounded by his smell, and his warmth, and it's all a little overwhelming. But in the best possible way.

As tears really begin pouring down his cheeks, Harry gives into his weak knees, pulling Louis down into his lap on the floorboards. Louis isn't fazed by the sudden movement, he just presses himself as close to Harry as he can get. He laces a hand into the back of his hair to press Harry's face into his neck, his favourite place to be, and he brings his other arm up to wrap around Harry's shoulders, holding him tight against his chest.

Harry can tell from how hard Louis' body is trembling that he's crying as well, silent sobs buried in Harry's shoulder as he just lets himself be held. Harry squeezes him around the middle, pulling back, much at Louis' displeasure, to press their lips together. It's not much of a kiss, they're not doing much more than mixing their tears, but it doesn't matter.

He's home.

They both ignore the gaggle of girls watching them from the living room doorway before Jay shoos them upstairs with a wave of her hand and a baby on her hip, who she swiftly passes off to Lottie. Jay walks over to them, reaching down to ruffle Louis' hair gently, making the boy turn his head to look at her. As soon as he sees the tears on his red cheeks, Harry stretches his neck up to press a series of kisses across the inflamed skin there.

Louis gives her a watery smile as she coos at them with a soft sigh, so relieved to see them back together again, where they belong. She gets to witness first hand just how stressed out Louis gets when Harry isn't with him, how much his absence takes a toll on her baby, and she can't be more glad that Harry's back. Plus, it's not like she doesn't adore having Harry around as well.

“I'll keep the girls distracted for a bit, you can say hello later.” She says when Harry looks up at her as well, pressing another kiss to Louis' cheek as he does so. Harry gives her his signature cheesy grin, which flashes her back to when she first met the lanky sixteen year old that her son had fallen in love with so suddenly.

“Hi Jay,” Harry says, his voice scratchy but still familiar, despite how much he has changed since she last saw him in the flesh.

“Hi, baby.” She replies, leaning down to press her lips to the top of his head, carding her fingers through his long hair gently just as Doris begins crying from upstairs and she excuses herself. When she's gone, Louis pulls Harry's head back down into the curve of his shoulder, tucking a hand beneath his hair to squeeze at the back of his neck as he folds himself around Harry again, content not to move for the rest of his life, if need be.

Harry chuckles gently into the fabric of Louis' T-shirt – one of his own, that Louis must have stolen, he notes. “I love you,” Harry whispers, lips dragging against Louis' warm skin, making him shiver. Louis returns the sentiment before he finally pulls his head up to look Harry in the eye. His face is red and blotchy, but he's still beautiful.

“How about I run us a bath, and then we cuddle until dinner?” Harry nods quickly, making Louis grin and press a kiss to his nose. “I've missed you so much, you know?” Harry nods again as he presses their lips together once more, revelling in the feeling of his boy in his arms.

He doesn't know what the backlash of this little stunt will be, or when they'll have to leave each other again, but for now, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Harry is in love with the most wonderful boy in the world and, at least for now, they're together.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you liked it, please reblog [this](http://studying-and-rainbows.tumblr.com/post/166152685246/im-missing-half-of-me-when-were-apart) on [my tumblr](studying-and-rainbows.tumblr.com).


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